Week 4 of being a parent of two:
I’m already mixing up their names. So, I’ve just started calling them the Big One and the Little One.
When one isn’t needing me, the other one is. When I get a rare moment when one of them isn’t needing me, I’m either doing laundry, washing bottles, emptying the trash, or doing some other household chore.
I’ve learned not to tell the Big One that I can’t do something because the Little One is needing me. It makes her jealous and angry.
Actually, it doesn’t matter that I’m not telling the Big One that I can’t do something right that very second because I’m busy with the Little One. She’s knows no matter what and is now using it to her advantage. The other morning I was trying to dress, feed, and console the Little One and the Big One was like “Can I have mini marshmallows and potato chips for breakfast?” I came THISCLOSE to saying yes.
Taking two children out to run errands is TERRIBLE. Especially right now. Does it get better? I don’t know. I sure hope so. Do you know what grocery shopping is like? I put the infant carrier in the cart and Bella in the child’s seat. Where, I ask you, do the groceries go? I have to pack them around the infant carrier which means I can get like, 3 items. Or, I can make Bella get out of the child’s seat so I can put items in the seat. Then I have to worry about her wandering off or touching ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING SHE PASSES. But you know what? I can’t get her out of the kid’s seat because then she’s jealous that the baby gets to ride in the cart and she doesn’t. A month ago I didn’t have this problem. She used to scream when I tried to make her ride in the cart, she wanted to walk like a “big girl”.
Pee, poo, spit up. Repeat repeat repeat.
Seriously, I miss sleep. Remember that whole “Sleep when the baby sleeps” thing? You know what that is? Crap. First of all, it was crap the first time around because if I had actually slept every time the baby slept, my house would have been disaster and I wouldn’t have paid any of my bills. But at least SOMETIMES I was able to sleep when the baby slept. This time? Pssssh. No. When the baby sleeps, I’m playing Jake and the Neverland Pirates with my 4 year old. Or fixing her lunch. Or teaching her to write her name. Or parking her in front of the tv for a few minutes so I can take a shower. THAT is what I am doing when the baby sleeps.
All of that said, I have never felt more complete and happy as a human being. I love my days with my girls. I love sweet baby snuggles that I need to soak up every moment of because I know all too well how fast they grow and how fleeting these moments are. I love how proud Bella is of her baby sister. I love that when she comes home from preschool she says, “Where’s my baby? How’s my baby?” She might be jealous sometimes, but what 4 year old wouldn’t be? She also loves that baby.
Some mornings, all 4 of us, plus the cat, end up in bed together. It’s cramped. It’s hot. It’s…kinda miserable, actually. But it’s also lovely and amazing.
It’s hard. It’s draining. It’s completely monotonous.
But it’s also totally worth it.