Last night we went to Target to pick out some Halloween costumes. They were 40% off, which is the only reason I went. I figured I would get a discount and just go ahead and knock out that task so I wouldn’t have to fool with it later. Lottie decided she wanted to be a monarch butterfly. Bella decided she wanted to be a unicorn. This was curious, as Bella is the one that loves butterflies, and Lottie is the one that loves unicorns. But whatever, I left the store this way, trusting their decisions.
This was a mistake.
The second we got home it turned into unicorn pandemonium. Both kids wanted that unicorn and no one gave a crap about the butterfly. This led me to calling my mother and asking her to run to Target at 8:30pm to see if she could get another unicorn costume. I live 30 minutes away from Target, (yes, life is hard) so it was easier for her to run over there. 5 minutes later she called to say they were sold out. Meanwhile my kids were screaming. Tears. Bloodshed. Wailing. They were about to rip that unicorn in two.
Meanwhile, one of my coworkers was calling me about a suspected serial killer on the loose in the neighborhood, (okay, I’m exaggerating, but the police were searching for someone on our road so I’m just going to go ahead and assume it was a serial killer). My kids are screaming in the background, I’m trying to order a unicorn off Target.com, and she’s telling me not to answer if someone comes knocking at my door and to call her and the cops. So I informed her, amidst the screaming, if someone were to come knocking at my door at this point, I was probably going to open it and hand off my two screaming children, plus unicorn. I have to stop in the middle of my rant and yell at Lottie, “DON’T YOU TAKE THE TAG OFF THAT BUTTERFLY COSTUME. THAT BUTTERFLY IS GOING BACK TO THE STORE.”
This is my life, people. This is my life.
There was no serial killer that came to my door. My kids eventually calmed down. I’ve ordered another unicorn online. It’ll be here Tuesday. Tuesday can’t get here fast enough. I’ve managed to
manipulate convince Bella into letting Lottie have the current unicorn, by talking up that Bella will get the NEW one, the BETTER one, the one that is coming IN THE MAIL. Last night Lottie slept with her gigantic unicorn costume. Its head was on her pillow. It looked like a scene out of the Godfather.
So far, Halloween is looking promising.