I want to begin this post with the fact that I love my 2-year-old (Lottie May). She is bright and sweet and fun, but I would be outright lying if I didn’t say that sometimes she’s also a flat out jerk that makes me want to pull out my own hair.
Here are some current “games” that Lottie likes to play that are totally
ruining my life awesome.
“Everything is mine”
The other day I was walking around the house when Lottie started pointing at the socks I was wearing and yelling, “Mine! MINE!” She then proceeded to try and pull one of them off my foot and had a total meltdown when I told her it was NOT her sock, it was in fact MY sock, which was why it was on MY foot. Everything is hers and when she gets her sticky, freakishly strong little fingers around whatever it is that she insists is hers, good LUCK getting it back in one piece. GOOD LUCK.
“I do it myself”
We have entered the realm of independence where Lottie wants to do everything herself, like dress herself, change her own diaper, or pour her own juice. I want her to exercise her independence, but this usually means I’m going to wind up with juice spilled all over the floor, poop smeared all over the bedroom rug, and a kid wailing with her head stuck in the arm hole of her shirt and insisting it’s my fault.
“Car is on, shoes are off.”
My oldest played this game. It was pretty simple: if I put her in the car, she took her shoes off and threw them in the floor. I admit, it was super irritating when EVERY TIME WE STOPPED I had to put her shoes back on. It was even more infuriating when I was in a hurry, if we were running late and I was having to hunt shoes and socks and put them on her feet when I was ready to get her out of the car. However, my youngest child takes this game to a new level. What she does is take off her socks and shoes, throws them in the floor and them proceeds to have an ABSOLUTE MELTDOWN about it. She screams like she is being murdered, to the point that I think my ear drums are going to explode or that I am just going to lose my %$!#* mind. What remedies this problem? If I pull over and put her shoes back on. But within 5 minutes, guess what happens? Go ahead. Just guess.
“This little piggy”
Lottie loves to play “This Little Piggy” over and over and over and over and over again. On Saturday morning it’s pretty common place for her to climb into our bed and slam her bare foot into my face, just about breaking my nose, and declare “PIGGY!” She also does this in the car when she is having her “I want you to pull over and put my shoes back on meltdown.” She sticks that foot up in the air a
nd shrieks “PIGGY! PIGGY! PIGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!” It doesn’t occur to her that Mommy can’t play “Piggy” because Mommy is operating a motor vehicle and trying to keep everyone alive, oh no. And when my 6 year old tries to help and play “Piggy” with her, Lottie sticks her finger out and says “NO BELLA! NO!!!!” Mommy is the only one that is allowed to play Piggy. The. Only. One.
“I don’t act like this with Daddy.”
One evening my husband spent two hours outdoors doing yard work and Lottie happily played on her own, sitting in the grass digging around in dirt or picking flowers or playfully trotting along behind him. I stood at the window and looked out there in amazement. Had it been me out there that kid would have been latched onto my legs, screaming, begging to be picked up, whining for a snack, whimpering to go inside. She would have climbed me like a tree and screamed as if everything in the world was wrong. That child acts like if it were possible for her to climb right back into my womb and curl up in the fetal position she totally would. If she could put me on and wear me around like a jacket, she absolutely would. As I pondered this, she turned around and looked toward the window I was looking out of and I jumped and hid behind the curtain. Out of sight, out of mind.
To sum this up, 2 year olds are delightful and not at all like tiny little dictators. Not at all.