Archives for June 2011

Protected: Kissin’ out back by the dumpster.

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Twilight vs Vampire Diaries vs Trueblood

I’m really into vampires. I don’t know why. I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Then I loved the TV series. Some other vampire related movies I’ve been into?

Interview with a Vampire. From Dusk to Dawn. Blade. The Lost Boys. There are many, many movies, shows and books out there. I don’t claim to have seen or read them all. I don’t claim to be an expert. I’m not even obsessed with them…at least not compared to some people. I’m just into it. My sister is into zombies, I think thats worse. I mean, I’m into the whole vampire human relationship thing. There aren’t relationships between zombies and humans. Are there? Is there a book out there I don’t know about? Someone needs to write a story about a hot zombie that falls for a human woman and fights the urge to eat her flesh. I think I’m onto something here. IT’S MY IDEA I HAD IT FIRST.

I read the Twilight series, I’ve read all the Sookie Stackhouse novels and I’ve watched a few seasons of TrueBlood. I also watch The Vampire Diaries on the CW. Jesus and I watch that one together and he loves it as much as I do which is probably a little weird, but hey, it’s good we have similar interests. A few weeks ago I was watching an episode of VD when I got a little confused about something that was going on. Then I realized I was getting confused because I had just read a Sookie book and Sookie vampires are different that VD vamps. Then I got to thinking about Twilight vamps. That’s when I decided it would be a GLORIOUS idea to compare the 3. If you haven’t read any of these books, or seen any of these shows, or watched any of these movies, this will probably be of no interest to you. So you might just want to click off this webpage and come back tomorrow. Still here? Super. Read on. (Unless you’re in the middle of reading or watching something and haven’t completed it yet. I might spoil something for you.)

When Vampires encounter the sun:

Twilight: They SPARKLE.

VD: They burn. Unless they have a special ring charmed by a witch. In that case, they are juuuuuust fine. You just better hope you know a witch that likes you or that you can manipulate into doing it for you.

Sookie: They burn. Also most vampires, unless they are really really really old, they can’t be roused during the day, even if they are underground and completely away from sunlight. Daytime = sleepy time.

How you become a vampire:

Twilight: A vampire has to bite you, but then they have to stop, they can’t drain all your blood because that would be killing you of course. Apparently vampire saliva has some sort of poison that takes over your body if you remain alive and it changes you. It’s supposed to be super painful.

VD: You drink from a vamp and then you die with their blood in your system, then you feed on someone.

Sookie: After reading 8 of these books, I’m not so sure HOW you turn into a vamp. I think the vamp has to taste your blood several times, and maybe almost drain you completely? The books refer to some people being turned by accident, but it also goes into how Sookie and her vampire lover, Eric have to be careful because they frequently blood swap. I really don’t know. Maybe I should Google this, but I don’t feel like it. I just texted another avid Sookie reader and she wasn’t sure either so I’m just gonna go with, IT’S JUST NOT VERY CLEAR. If you know more, feel free to enlighten me.

Do werewolves exist and how?

Twilight: Sure! They exist on a Native American reservation. Their ancestors were wolves and it runs in the family and it kicks in at puberty IF there are vamps in the area. If there aren’t any vampires around, their wolf nature doesn’t come out and they get to stay human. They can change at will, they run really high temperatures all the time and therefore in human form they always run around with their shirts off. They halt the aging process during the time they are a practicing werewolf. Meaning: as long as vamps are in the area and they can change into an werewolf, they don’t age. When the vamps go away, they resume aging and stop changing into wolves. They also can’t choose their own mates, they IMPRINT on people, meaning, they see you and WHAM. Thats it. They love you and you alone forever. They cannot think about or look at anyone else again. P.S. They WILL imprint on small children or infants. (Creepy.) But don’t worry, they won’t be pedaphiles. They wait til the kids grow up. These wolves can control their actions as a wolf for the most part. They have that “animal” nature thing going on but they know who you are when they are in their animal form and yadda yadda. Bella Swan frequently pets and cuddles with a wolfy Jacob.

VD: Yes. Being a werewolf is also hereditary. It runs in you family BUT it won’t come out until you kill someone. So, watch out, don’t kill someone by accident or you’ll be in trouble. In this series, someone is tricked into killing a human in order to trigger the change. By the way, wolves only change at a full moon and they can’t control it and it’s super painful. They also have no control of what they do in their wolf form, so stay outta the way. Also, one bite from a wolf kills a vampire, no ifs ands or butts about it. Except….one of the main characters (Damon) just got bitten by a wolf and I’m pretty sure they aren’t going to kill him off he has too big of a roll and he’s too HOT. I would totally choose him over his wimpy brother Stefan.

Sookie: Werewolves exist and for the most part it is hereditary, but you will only become one if you are the first born of a true werewolf couple. I say “true” werewolf because there are those that are turned, but that takes lot of effort. In order to be converted to a werewolf you have to be bitten multiple times all over you body. I think this is a pretty lame way to become a wolf but whatever, I didn’t write the books. Also, if you are a converted werewolf, you can’t completely turn, you change into this half wolf half man abomination and you can only change when the moon is full. (Full blooded wolves and other were-animals can change whenever the hell they feel like it.) In this book series, and in the show from what I gather, there are lots of other “were” creatures besides wolves. There are panthers, tigers, bats, foxes, whatever. There are also “true shifters” that can change into whatever they want. I want to be one of those. One day I could be a border collie and the next I could be a dolphin. WIN.

Can Vamps and Humans make babies?

Twilght: They can make creepy vamp-human hybrids that age really quickly. (That they also give ridiculous names:::::cough Renesmee cough::::::::) I think this is the most idiotic thing ever. This plot line is when the Twilight series completely jumped the shark and I quit reading. I never finished the final book. Yeah, whatever. Shoot me.

VD and Sookie/Trueblood: No. At least, not so far. Thank God.

Are all of these plots based around the same general idea about some hot young human girl that even the vampires can’t resist? And sometimes it gets all creepy and more than one supernatural fellow is fighting over her and they want to protect her from absolutely everything?

Yep.

Twilight: Bella Swan.

VD: Elena Gilbert.

TrueBlood: Sookie Stackhouse.

Moving on, let’s get to the most important part of my comparison/review/ whatever-this-is:

What “team” am I?

Twilight: In the books, Team Edward. When I saw the movie, I didn’t care anymore because the movies are a lousy excuse for cinematic entertainment, but if I HAD to choose, it would be Jacob cause he looks so beefy with his shirt off, which is for the WHOLE FREAKING MOVIE.

VD: Team Damon. Stefan is a pansy and he has a chin like Jay Leno.

Sookie/Trueblood: ERIC 4 EVA. In the show and in the books. Yay.

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Protected: The thing with the heart.

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Protected: And it begins….

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Protected: He remembered what I was wearing.

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My birthday and other things.

I haven’t written a post in a week or two. Not much has been happening around here but in case you’re interested, here are the highlights:

Today is my birthday. (Wheeeeeeeee!) I haven’t really done much, but yesterday I treated myself to some shopping and my parents watched the tot while Jesus and I went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in Chattanooga, Boccaccia. Yummy. Tonight we are going out to eat with my parents so that should be fun.

Last Friday night I met my friend Natalie downtown so that we could do some walking. We had a nice stroll across the walking bridge but it was HOT HOT HOT. By the time we were done I noticed sweat was dripping off my forehead. Sexy. After that Natalie took her little girl home and I met up with another friend and we decided to stroll down to the Nightfall Concert Series. It has been 2 or 3 years since I’ve been down to Nightfall so I was excited about it. However, my body protested and I was’t able to enjoy much of the festivities because I got dizzy and threw up. Apparently I’m a big ole wimp when it comes to the heat.

That brings me to Riverbend. I won’t be attending the Riverbend festival in Chattanooga this year because I’m afraid of a repeat of the Nightfall experience. Also, I would either have to get a babysitter or just take Bella with me and the idea of having to push a stroller through those crowds makes me nauseous all over again.

Speaking of Bella, she has taken an interest in following me into the bathroom when I need to go potty. She stands there and watches me in amazement which is a little weird but hey, whatever. Obviously she has taken an interest in it and that makes me suspect that potty training could be on the horizon. The other night though, we had an accident. I went in to the bathroom to tinkle and Bella followed. She was standing there watching me and babbling: “Babbba dabba dabba babba babba.” I was explaining to her how the potty works, you know “Mommy goes to the bathroom in the potty, right now you go in your diaper but soon you will learn to use the potty…like Mommy.” All of a sudden her little hand shot out and she stuck it between my legs and right into my urine stream. She quickly pulled her pee covered hand back out and look really alarmed. ┬áThen I had to give my child a bath and wash my urine off of her. That was fun.

And thats about it for my update. I hope you enjoyed reading about my birthday, puking from heat exhaustion and bathroom accidents. I like to keep it classy.

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