Archives for March 2012

Hey there Facebook friend.

Hey there friends.

How are you doing?

That’s super. Glad to hear it. Let’s dive right in.

Are you on Facebook? Can you do me a big fat favor? Great!

You know those posts that are like :

“Click here to see who is viewing your profile!”

“OMG can’t believe Justin Bieber and Selena have a sex tape!” (Are you serious? Did you REALLY click on that?)

“Starbucks/Target/WTF EVER is giving out free gift cards click here, only 178378234732 left!”

Have you seen those? Have you? STOP CLICKING ON THEM. They aren’t real.

You are not getting a free gift card for $100. How does that make any sense what-so-ever? “Starbucks is giving out free $100 to all Facebook users.” Seriously? How would that EVER be a good business decision for any company?

You are not going to see Bieber’s sex tape. (Ew.)

And you aren’t going to see who is viewing your profile. Who cares anyway? Do you want to know if the person you are stalking is stalking you, too?

Here’s the big fat secret: the people that don’t click on that crap are judging you and your intelligence. Exercise a little common sense, folks. I’m not talking about the person that occasionally has a slip up because I get it. Sometimes something shows up on your feed and you’re like “Huh?” and then theres a little clickity click.

But you repeat offenders out there? I’m TOTALLY talking to you. Stop spamming me and everyone else. We hate you.

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Lessons for my toddler

Tonight we learned two things.

By “we” of course, I mean Bella.

First, despite the fact that bath water looks a lot like the water that you drink out of your sippy, it does NOT taste the same.

Second, despite the fact that lotion looks a lot like yogurt, it does NOT taste the same.

 

Other important lessons learned over the weekend?

Don’t run through the house like a maniac with your balloons, causing the strings to rip off, leaving the balloon stranded on the ceiling. Mommy is 5 feet tall. She can’t reach it and you’re just going to have to keep screaming in agony.

From here on out, any toy you put in the toilet is going into the garbage. No more washing them in boiling water for Mommy. You will learn that nothing goes into the toilet besides pee and poop. The end.

I’m pretty much the best mom ever.

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