Archives for April 2013

My kid is friendly and I can be an awkward recluse

Sometimes people are surprised when I say I’m not social by nature. I guess because sometimes I’m all: talk-your-face-off, “HELLO, HELLO, HELLO EVERYONE!!!” If you encounter me and I am acting this way, please be certain I have either had too much coffee or too much wine.

Most of the time I’m awkward and hide in corners to avoid small talk. Barf. Small talk.

Nah. I guess I’m really not THAT bad. I probably struggle the most with strangers. It’s not that I don’t want to meet new people and be polite and what not. It can just be so draining sometimes and I’m just not up for it, and once again: small talk. Barf.

Bella has other plans. My kid loves EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE all the time. She has introduced me to all my neighbors. I know who they are because I wave at them when I drive by, but now she has made me meet them, in person, numerous times. Any time we come out of the house, she runs down the driveway and starts screaming at people. “HI! THIS IS MY HOUSE! THIS IS MY MOMMY! SAY HI TO MY MOMMY.” And then they do. And then they come over. And they want to TALK. TO. ME. For like a million years.

It’s not just my neighbors. Bella forces me to talk to people everywhere. Playgrounds. The mall. Gas stations. The grocery store. If I let her have her window down in the car she screams at people at red lights. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to meet the entire city before this is over. She strikes up a conversation with anyone within ear shot and they always talk back, because let’s face it, she’s so damned adorable. But then I have to chime in at some point because it’s just awkward when an adult is having a conversation with my 3 year old and I’m just standing there like a doofus.

And then I’m just like, “Hey there…..guy. How’s this, weather, there, you know, spring time…and what not. Sunshine and birds and things that are springy.” Do you think I’m kidding? I’m not. I am a total rambler. (This blog is proof of that.)

Anyway, there isn’t really anything I can do because I don’t want to discourage Bella’s friendliness. I have high hopes that her communication skills will be better than mine and less forced. Of course I don’t know how successful at this she is going to be when she has her rambling mother that sometimes hides in bushes and broom closets following her around all the time. Not sure the odds are in your favor, kiddo.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

This past month…

Well, hello world.

I haven’t blogged in almost a month. I win at blogging. And also at the internets.

So what have I been up to? I imagine you think it MUST have been something spectacular or important. Alas, I am here to disappoint, as always. This is what I have been up to:

  • Drinking wine.
  • Watching Game of Thrones.
  • Trying to keep my garden alive. Bella had other plans and watered it with bubbles so now 50% of my flowers are dead and I’m positive my neighbors are laughing at me.
  • Trying to keep Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses and anyone that goes door to door BESIDES a Girl Scout the hell away from my house. (I don’t have any problems with Mormons or JW’s I just wish they would quit ringing my doorbell repeatedly. Or BANGING on my door over and over after dark when I am home alone and waking up a sleeping Bella and terrifying her. That actually happened. I reached my limit for “polite” or “tactful” that evening. Now I scream at people and squirt them with a water hose. Whatever. Get off my lawn.)
  • Harassing Gently encouraging my husband to complete household projects and yard work.
  • Spying on my neighbors.
  • Videotaping my cat while he bathes.

Well. That about sums it up. What have YOU been up to?

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS